Getting some help

How does Mediation work?

More and more people are using mediation to help them.

It works like this. You and your ex have a series of meetings with a mediator, who helps you to work out what issues you need to sort out, what your possible options are, and how you can sort things out fairly between you. Mediators don’t give legal advice, but are very well informed about how the law works. If you reach an agreement, your mediator will write this up for you and you can then take it to your solicitor to get it put into a legally binding form.

The advantages are that, if you manage to reach an agreement through mediation, it is generally cheaper and quicker than using a solicitor. It also tries to keep things on an amicable footing and help you to keep talking to each other, and the outcome is something that you create - rather than something imposed on you.

Some people go first to solicitors and then use mediators to help sort out the money, or matters about the children. Others go to mediators first and then go their solicitors once they have reached an agreement. A financial agreement should generally be made into a court order and this needs technical drafting, so you will need a solicitor at this stage.

On average a couple will need between two to four meetings to get everything sorted out.

Mediators generally charge by the hour. Some mediation services charge on a sliding scale according to how much you earn. Expect to pay for each meeting as it takes place. You can get legal aid to cover it if your income is low enough. Unlike legal aid for solicitors, you don’t have to pay the cost of this back.

Mediation doesn’t suit every couple, but it’s worth a try if you both feel that you want to sort things out together.

For more information on family mediation go to Family Mediation.

How does Collaborative law work?

Collaborative law is a process which has started in the last few years in this country. The number of lawyers who are qualified to practise it is growing rapidly.

It works like this. You and your ex each have a collaborative lawyer. You make an agreement that you will not go to court using these lawyers. You sort everything out in a series of meetings with both of you and both your lawyers. It’s a bit like mediation with legal advice at the same time.

It may be cheaper than the conventional way of instructing solicitors because it can mean that you use less of their time. However, legal aid isn’t available for collaborative law.

Like mediation, collaborative law aims for an amicable solution that both of you have worked out rather than had imposed on you. Collaborative lawyers will also have a network of other experts and counsellors that you can use if you need them.

Common sense and people skills

You can learn to use some of the skills that mediators or solicitors use yourself. There are several books that explain how to use people skills and negotiation skills to help you communicate better. Saying sorry is very hard, but it’s amazing how it can help a relationship. Obviously, it’s extremely difficult when you’re hurting badly to put this into practice, but it’s often worth making the effort, especially if you have children.

Costs and Legal Aid

You can get legal aid to cover the costs of the divorce proceedings and to deal with issues about money and children if your finances are within the limits laid down by the Legal Services Commission (LSC).To check if you are eligible use the Legal Aid Calculator on the Community Legal Advice website (see links to other websites).

There are three stages of legal aid funding depending on the work that you need doing. The first stage is called Legal Help. This covers your first interview with the solicitor. If your solicitor thinks you need further public funding and you are eligible, she or he will get you to fill in the application forms.

You can get detailed advice about the way legal aid works on the LSC website (see links to other websites).

Legal aid is not free. If you end up with money or a house, you have to pay the Legal Services Commission back. The way they get their share is called the ‘statutory charge’. You should read the leaflet ‘Paying for your legal aid’ (see links to other websites). The statutory charge does not apply to the costs of mediation.

November 2009