I'm not a parent - where do I stand?

The law recognises that there are adults who are not parents who can have important relationships with children. For example, step-parents, grandparents, and other relations. You can be related to a child by marriage or civil partnership, as well as by blood.

For all the reasons set out in this guide, it is best to try to resolve family differences without using the courts. If this doesn’t work, and you have to apply to the court for residence or contact, you may first need to get permission (lawyers call this 'leave') from the judge to make the application. If you do need permission, the judge will generally give it to you, if you can show that you have had a close relationship with the child, or there are strong blood ties.

You don’t need permission if:

• the child has lived with you for at least 3 years during the last 5 years, and within the last 3 months
• you are the child's guardian
• you are married to, or a civil partner of, have been married to, or had a civil partnership with one of the child’s parents, and you have treated the child as though he or she was yours
• everyone who has parental responsibility or a residence order for the child agrees that you can apply
• the child is in care and the local authority has agreed that you may have an order

All the same rules about the child’s welfare apply to your application, and the procedure will follow the same pattern as if you were a parent (see What the law says). See leaflet CB1 from the court service for more detail (see links to other websites).

October 2009