Reasons for and against going to court

It's usually better if you can work out your difficulties without going to court - it's generally cheaper and less stressful. However sometimes it is unavoidable.

Reasons against going to court

You will not get everything that you want. Courts generally try to find a solution that everyone can work with. This means that they seldom give either of you exactly what you wanted.
The court will not use residence or contact orders to ‘punish’ or ‘reward’ either of you for your past behaviour. If this is, deep down, what you want, you will be disappointed.
It might make it harder to have a relationship as parents afterwards. To make your case both of you will emphasise and even exaggerate your positions. After that, it can be hard to get back to a co-operative relationship as parents.
The process will probably feel out of your control. Once a case has got going you may feel powerless to influence the outcome.
It will cost you a fortune. Even if you get Legal Aid, you may well have to pay the costs back by the Statutory Charge. It might be better to spend the money on your family.
It will be very stressful. Going to court is often a very worrying experience for everyone. The children may feel stressed too, even if they don’t have to come to court.
Court orders do not transform unreasonable people into reasonable people.
Going to court isn't the best way of showing your children how much you love them.

Reasons for going to court

To protect a child in an emergency.
To get a clear decision where one of you feels unsafe or intimidated.
If you have real concerns about your child's safety or welfare with the other parent, and need a court order to protect them from harm.
There may be an issue between you that you simply cannot resolve. If you can’t decide you may both feel happier if someone else takes the responsibility for the decision.
One (or both) of you may be behaving in a way that isn’t reasonable and can’t be resolved by mediation or other discussion. Sometimes a court order can be helpful because it give you both firm guidelines to work on.
Maybe you haven’t been able to get a suitable response from your partner. Sometimes a court application can help to get a discussion going. Often the court process will stop after the first appointment, as an agreement can be reached.