Bullying
"Leanne had been very happy at school, but she changed when she went into Year 5. She’d wanted to take her own lunches, but she was coming home starving. Sometimes her clothes were muddy and she came home one day with a ripped jacket. She told me she had caught it on a nail. She never wanted to talk about her day and I wasn’t sure whether to push her or not. It was odd because she had always been so chatty and lively.
Me and her dad were puzzled and worried, but didn’t want to interfere. Then one morning Leanne’s teacher told me that her behaviour had got much worse – she had started playing up in the class and being disruptive. The teacher wondered if everything was alright at home. When confronted, Leanne confessed that one of her long-time friends, Chloe, had started whispering about her and not letting her join in their games. Leanne had felt so desperate that she had started showing-off and being lippy to win back Chloe’s friendship."
Sarah
Bullying can take many forms. It may mean being hit or punched, having money or things stolen, or being generally pushed around, often in front of other students. It can also include verbal bullying, being sworn at, being shut out of a particular group or being ignored.
Bullying is very common in primary and secondary schools. Most schools have an anti-bullying policy, but not all schools are very effective in stopping it.
If you think your child is being bullied, it may not be a good idea to rush up to the school to talk to them. Many children don’t want to talk to teachers or the Head immediately – it can make the bullying worse. First try and talk to your child and find out what is going on, and what to do about it. Your child may feel better talking to older students, rather than teachers. In many schools, older students run peer support schemes to help children who are having a difficult time.
The school should have an anti-bullying policy: find out what it says, so that your child has some idea of what would happen if they report the bullying to the school. Above all, it’s important not to blame your child or suggest that the bullying is their fault – you need to give them lots of reassurance and love.
What if my child is the bully?
Hard though it is to accept, it may be that it is your child who is bullying others. If your child has just started behaving this way, it may be that something is troubling them. You may well be angry and want to punish them, but it might help more to talk to your child and try to find out what’s going on. Has he or she been going through a hard time? Have they been bullied themselves, or are they having problems with friends? Are they struggling with the work, or are feeling that they can’t cope?
The school will want to help, so speak to their teacher – don’t assume that the school will only want to punish your child. They should have suggestions about how to help your child stop bullying others: for example, a friendship circle, or some work in class on respecting others.
Children who are being bullied or who are bullying can call ChildLine in confidence, free, on 0800 1111.
