I couldn't bear the thought of him being chucked out of school!
"My son Paul has always been a bit cheeky and sometimes got into trouble, but I never thought it would amount to anything serious. I had a few phone calls from the school about various things but I couldn't afford to take time off work to go to see his teachers. To be honest, I also wasn’t that keen on going back into school to get another telling off, this time for being a bad parent.
Then one day, I was putting Paul’s clothes in the wash, and found a letter in the pocket. It was addressed to me, from the school, saying that there had been a number of 'incidents' and asking me to make an appointment to come in for a meeting. It mentioned the possibility of exclusion. I was so upset that Paul was in serious trouble and he hadn’t even given me the letter. He had always been easily distracted, but I knew he wouldn't do anything seriously wrong. I couldn't bear the thought of him being chucked out of school, especially if it wasn't his fault.
I met his Head of Year. She told me that most of the teachers liked Paul, but were finding his behaviour increasingly difficult. He had become friends with a group of boys in his year who were ‘cool’, but whose behaviour was disruptive: they, with Paul, were causing problems in classes, and were bunking off school.
Dealing with the school
If you think things are beginning to go wrong with your child, don’t just wait, hoping they’ll get better – get in touch with the school straight away. You will probably be feeling stressed about the situation, and may feel that teachers aren’t doing enough for your child, but you should treat them politely. Emotions can run high, but it won’t help you or your child if you shout at or intimidate teachers.
If parents behave really badly, the Head can withdraw their right to enter the school. However, pupils cannot be excluded from school because of their parent’s behaviour.
What happened to Paul?
When I met Paul's teacher we agreed on a plan to help Paul. I would talk to him and let him know that I knew what was happening and that I, and the school, wanted to help him. We agreed that I would make sure he was ready for school in the morning and that time was put aside each night for homework. For the rest of the term, teachers would send home weekly reports about his behaviour, and would be sure to praise him for making an effort and working well. The teacher also suggested that an older pupil might mentor him or that some of his class-mates might look out for him, helping him to distance himself from the disruptive boys in his year.
When I talked to Paul, I was surprised to find that he was feeling really stressed and anxious about the situation. He knew he was behaving badly but couldn’t think of a way out. He needed me and his teachers to lay down the law a bit! I can’t say it’s all been plain sailing since, and he still mucks about sometimes, but I feel that because we acted quickly, we stopped the problem becoming far worse. One of those boys is now out of the school, and I see him just hanging around, not doing anything with his life – I hate to think that Paul could have gone the same way.”
Jackie
