Dave's side of the story
"I'd been with Sue for a long time. But since we'd had the kids, it felt like we never had time for each other. I started seeing someone at work but I felt so guilty about it, I eventually told her. We had a huge row and I moved out there and then. That was really stupid. I couldn't bear not seeing the kids and every time I called to speak to them, she just slammed the phone down.
A few weeks later, I got a call out of the blue from a mediator. He said that Sue had been in touch with him and wanted to try mediation. I hadn't got a clue what he was talking about and, to be honest, I was a bit suspicious. But he said that, as Sue was on legal aid, I could have a meeting with him for free. In the end, I decided I hadn't really got anything to lose, so I went along and he told me all about it. After that, I was quite up for it - at least this way we'd actually get to talk.
Ten days later, we had the first session. That was tough. But the mediator was really helpful, and kept reminding us that we needed to sort things out for the kids. By the end of the session, we'd agreed that I could see the kids for bedtimes on a couple of evenings, and every other weekend. It was such a relief! We agreed to have another session three weeks later to see how things were going and to start sorting out money and the flat. In the meantime we had to fill out some forms about our incomes and our spending and get some legal advice.
I never thought we'd be able to sit down and talk, but the mediator helped us realise that even though we're not together anymore, we'll go on being parents for ever."
