What did you score?

MOSTLY As:
It sounds like you're both ready to move on and you may well be able to sit down and sort out a lot of the arrangements for yourselves. If you get stuck on any difficult issues, such as who gets to stay in your home, or where the kids will spend Christmas, you might find a session or two with a mediator helpful.

MOSTLY Bs:
Mediation could be really useful for you. It's always going to be hard talking to your ex face-to-face and trying to make practical arrangements that are fair to both of you after a break-up. But, if you can start talking to one another at this stage, rather than doing it all through solicitors, you might find it easier to work together as parents in the long-run. The mediator will be there to help you work out your options, keep you calm and focused and make sure you both get a chance to put your side of the story. And you could get an agreement approved by the court if you want to.

MOSTLY Cs:

Mediation may not be the answer.
(Q1 & 2) If your ex has been violent, you should first get some legal advice about how best to protect yourself and your family. Even if the bullying is emotional rather than physical, mediation might not feel safe or comfortable. You might be happier with a solicitor negotiating for you.

(Q3 & 4) If you think there's still a chance you might get back together with your ex, you could think about seeing a relationship counsellor. Or, if it's really over and you're finding it hard to cope, you might want to talk to your GP about seeing a counsellor or a therapist on your own. Mediation is not counselling.

(Q5) You won't get very far with mediation if your ex won't co-operate - but bear in mind that, even if you go to court, it can sometimes be hard to enforce family arrangements.

If you decide you want to try mediation, have a meeting with a mediator on your own first to talk about your concerns.