Many people think of divorce or dissolution as ending the marriage or civil partnership, dealing with issues like how to divide the money or property, and arrangements for the children all in one go. But these are really three separate processes. They are all dealt with separately, but are often all going on at the same time. At some stages, how far you have got with one bit affects the others. See the table below for more on this.

Of course, if you don’t have children, or you can agree what arrangements you are going to make for them (for example, where and who they are going to live with and when they are going to see the parent who isn’t looking after them day to day), then you don’t have to have legal proceedings about the children.

If you have children

If you have children, you'll need to agree:

1. where the children will live,
2. when and how you will ensure they have plenty of time with both parents (assuming it is safe for them and you), and,
3. how you will continue to pay for all the things they need.

Sometimes who the children will live with most of the time is obvious to you both, but often this is a really hard decision. We’ve produced a separate guide to help you to agree child arrangements (sometimes called contact and residence) that work for everybody, and to help you find a solution if that is not possible. 

If you really can’t reach an agreement with your ex on arrangements for your children, we have a guide to help you apply to the family court for a child arrangements order. 

Money and property

We have another guide to help you sort out your finances when you divorce or dissolve your civil partnership. This section gives you some things to start thinking about. Be sure to look at our more detailed guide on how to divide your home and money when you divorce before making any important decisions.

Next we list some of the things you will need to think about.

Where you will both live in the future

• Will one of you stay in the property or will you both need to move?
• If the home is rented or owned only in your ex-partner’s name, it may be that you need to take action to secure your rights to stay. What you need to do depends upon your situation.
• If the family home is going to be sold, how will the money from the sale be divided? 
• Will you do it all at once or in stages? Some couples make a short-term and a long-term agreement to fit in with the needs of the family. For example, some couples (who can afford to) agree that one partner will stay in the home with the children until the children have left school, and then sell the house and divide the proceeds.
• You may be able to agree who is going to pay the rent or mortgage. But remember even if you move out, if your name is still on the tenancy or the mortgage you are still legally responsible for paying the rent/mortgage.

Where are you going to live?

People often want to stay in the family home, but it may not be possible. Finding out about something doesn’t commit you to it, but it does enable you to make an informed decision about what is going to be best for you.

If you rent your home 

• Look into the cost of renting somewhere else. Could you reduce your costs by moving to a smaller home, or moving to a cheaper area?
• It may be worth seeing if any council housing or housing association accommodation is available in your area. Some housing associations help particular groups, for example families with a low income or single women. Waiting lists are usually extremely long so it  isn’t an immediate solution, but it could help to reduce your costs and give you a secure place to live in the long-term.
• If you have some savings (or will have after the divorce is completed) it may be worth exploring if one of the government’s home ownership schemes would help you. 

If you own your home

• Check how much is outstanding on your mortgage including any early redemption fees. Phone your mortgage company and ask them.
• Ask three estate agents to tell you how much your home might sell for if you put it on the market. Then you can take the middle value. Remember that you will need to take off the costs of the sale and the costs of you both moving to work out what you would be left with.
• Check out your local property market to work out how much another home would cost.
  Consider what is available to rent as well.
• If you have some savings (or will have after the divorce is completed) it may be worth exploring if one of the government’s home ownership schemes would help you. 
• Investigate the possibility of getting a new mortgage. How much would you be able to borrow by yourself and what would it cost you?
• Remember that purchasing any residential property in England valued at £125,000 or over will incur Stamp Duty Land Tax (SDLT) which needs to be budgeted for. If you are going to be a first-time buyer the threshold is currently higher - £300,000. For more help with this go to the government’s stamp duty calculator. In Wales a different tax, called Land Transaction Tax, applies. For more help with this, go to the Welsh government's Land Transaction Tax calculator. 

Budgeting

Stretching your joint finances to cover the cost of two homes is going to be tricky. Both of you are likely to end up (at first) poorer than you were. If you are still at the stage where you are considering your options it will be helpful to think through the money side of things.

• Do you know how much you spend, and on what? Most people only have a hazy idea. Use our family budget sheet at the end of this guide to help you work out where it all goes. You may need to keep all your receipts for a few weeks to check what you are spending on all the little things that mount up.
• Council tax will be reduced by 25% if you are the sole adult in the household. You will need to contact your council tax office for the reduction.
• Check if you might be entitled to benefits or tax credits now you are a single person. Turn2Us have a very helpful benefits calculator.
• Work out how much child maintenance you might be paid or be expected to pay using this calculator.
• Work out where you could cut your costs. You might rearrange some of your debts, spend less on some things, or find extra ways of earning money.
• If your debts are a problem, see if you can get debt advice from your local advice agency, National Debtline or StepChange. StepChange also have a useful free online tool called Debt remedy. See More help and advice for more details.

Your future career

If you have been working part-time or not working up till now you may need to think about getting back into the job market. Now is a good time to think about what you want to do.

• Think about what you will want to do in five years time. Do you need some new skills?
• Do you want to change your career path?
• What training or qualifications will you need?

If you need to plan for this, or budget for it, now is the time to do it. Your local Jobcentre plus adviser can tell you about what help is available for you to find new work and any financial help you could get with moving back into work.

If you want the divorce over with as quickly and smoothly as possible, it’s best to come to as many agreements as you can rather than take each issue to court. In fact, before you can go to court over the money or property or arrangements for the children, you have to show the court that you have met with a mediator first and considered mediation or another approach to help you sort out your dispute. For more information, take a look at our guide to family mediation. 

You can come to agreements:

1. between yourselves, or
2. through a mediation service or another type of dispute resolution approach, or
3. using solicitors to negotiate on your behalf, or
4. a combination of some or all of the above. 

You can use different methods to agree different things. Many people can agree arrangements for the children between them, but need help from solicitors to agree what to do about money and property.

However you do it...

• Usually you will both need to compromise.
• It is sensible for you to both get a bit of legal advice first, even if you will be doing everything else yourself. (If you are asking for advice about how to divide your money and property, you need to be able to tell the solicitor exactly what you and your ex-partner own, jointly and individually.) See More help and advice for details of how to find a good family law solicitor.

Option 1 - agreeing it yourselves

Agreeing arrangements between yourselves can be the best option for many people. If you feel that your ex-partner is better at arguing their corner than you are and you are worried about trying to reach agreement alone then you should see if you can afford mediation or the help of a family law solicitor. 

If you have experienced any kind of domestic abuse during or after the relationship with your ex it would be very sensible to find out if you can get free legal help so that you don’t have to deal with your ex. They will listen to what has happened and advise you on how to go forward.

Agreeing things without help is far from easy. To start with, one or both of you may be too upset and angry to discuss it. You will need to find ways to discuss the issues without your emotions getting in the way. 
We suggest some ideas on how to do this next.

1. Agree in advance with your ex-partner on how and when you will try to come to agreements. For example, will you find a date to meet on neutral territory or do it over email? Nobody likes to feel ambushed and you have a much better chance of agreeing something if you both arrive at it feeling that you have chosen this approach and you want it to succeed. Arranging a time to talk in advance also gives you time to better plan what you want to say.
2. If you have a lot to discuss, try and agree what is urgent and deal with that first. You may have different priorities, but dealing  with the things that are most worrying for each of you first can make things go much more smoothly.
3. If you have to discuss arrangements for the children and finances try dealing with them separately – maybe at separate meetings.
4. Many people just want to sort everything out immediately so at least they don’t have to deal with the uncertainty. But things often go more smoothly if you take a little bit of time. For example, it can take time to get all the information you need, to be able to agree what to do about the house or other money. The best outcome will take some time to sort out.
5. Before you discuss it, think about the outcome you would like and where you can be flexible. If you know what your ex-partner might feel about that, think if there’s anything you can do to make it more appealing for them.
6. Try to stick to the point as much as you can. Having the main points written down can be helpful and can give you something to focus on if you feel yourself starting to get upset or angry, or if your ex-partner strays from the point.
7. If you try to do it over email, do bear in mind that it is even easier to take offence when you can’t see expressions or hear tone of voice, so keeping yourself calm and sticking to the point is even more important.

Option 2 - using family mediation or another type of non-court dispute resolution

If you cannot reach an agreement by speaking to each other or with the help of family or friends, you cannot just go straight to court for an order about your children or your finances. Instead, the court expects you to try another way to resolve your dispute, as long as it is safe for you to do so. Family lawyers often call this non-court dispute resolution or 'NCDR' for short.

The methods of non-court dispute resolution that the court recognises are: 

• mediation, 
• a process called the ‘collaborative law approach’ where you both (or all) have solicitors and come together in the same room to negotiate and reach agreement, 
• neutral evaluation where a single experienced family lawyer gives their opinion on how the court would decide what should happen in your dispute, or 
• arbitration (like having a private judge who makes a legally binding decision for you).
   

The cheapest of these options is likely to be mediation, especially if you can get legal aid to mediate or access a mediation voucher that covers £500 of the mediator’s costs.

If you are interested in finding out more about these different options and the costs involved, a good place to start is Resolution.

Mediation

Mediation is where you meet with your ex and a mediator, who has been properly trained to help you put your feelings aside and focus on the issues that need to be sorted out. The mediator won’t take sides or decide what is fair for you - they are simply there to help your discussions.

Many people say that a positive side-effect of mediation is that it helps them to communicate again, which can only be a good thing, especially if you have children.

Mediators can tell you both about the law but they cannot advise you on your legal position. If you do reach an agreement in mediation with your ex, it is a really good idea to get some legal advice on the agreement before you finalise it. This is because the mediator cannot tell you if it is a fair outcome for you, according to the law, in the way a family law solicitor can.

How to find a good family mediator 

Anyone can call themselves a family mediator, so it is important to choose someone you can be sure is well trained and experienced. 

A good way to find a registered mediator is to use the search tool provided by the Family Mediation Council to find one near you. All Family Mediation Council registered mediators must follow a code of practice to maintain good standards in their work. If you are interested, you can find the code of practice on the Family Mediation Council website. 

If you follow up on a recommendation from family or friends, be sure to just check the name on the Family Mediation Council website so you know that the person is registered and either working towards being an accredited mediator or is accredited. This will give you reassurance that the mediator you choose is trained and experienced.

All the mediators included on the Family Medication Council website have been trained by providers approved by the Family Mediation Council and most are also accredited, which means that they are experienced mediators. Not all mediators do Legal Aid funded mediation, but those who do must be accredited – you can search for them by ticking the middle box on the search tool.

For more useful information on mediation as a process, have a look at Family mediation.
 

If you have children, it is useful to write down what you have both agreed. 

If you get help from a mediator, they can record your agreements in a document called a ‘Memorandum of Understanding’. This is a non-legally binding document. If you want to and can afford to, you take this document to a solicitor for advice before reaching a final agreement. 

Another option is to record your agreements in a parenting plan. Go to the Cafcass website for a comprehensive and clear parenting plan template. 

You won’t usually need to do anything more formal - you just keep to the agreement. If arrangements are not working for any reason, you just negotiate changes. You both need to be prepared to be flexible as, particularly as the children get older, you will have to move things around to fit in with new clubs they want to join or social events they don’t want to miss.

Be aware that the only way you can make your agreement legally binding is by applying to the court for a judge to approve your agreement. 

When it comes to agreeing what to do about your money and property, it is best for each of you to see a solicitor separately before you reach a final agreement, if you can possibly afford it. They will check your proposals and help you ensure that neither of you can make another claim in the future. They will usually advise you to ask the court to approve your agreement so that you have a legally binding order, known as a ‘consent order’. For more help on this go to Sorting out your finances when you get divorced. 

If there are issues around money and property or arrangements for the children that you really can’t agree on, you may have to ask the court to decide. If you need the court’s help with this, you have to make a separate application from the divorce application.  

Before you decide to go to court about arrangements for the children be sure to read our guide on how to agree these with your ex to see if you can avoid it.

If you are struggling with sorting out an agreement on finances and you haven’t looked at our guide to agreeing how to divide your home and money when you get divorced yet, be sure to see if it helps.

If you need to go to court you have the option of:

• getting a solicitor to help you make your case (if you can afford to), or
• doing it yourself.

These days many people find they cannot afford to have a solicitor with them at court.

The difficulty is that using solicitors to take matters to court can be very expensive. The legal fees can quite easily end up being more than the value of what you are arguing about. Even if the matter does end up in court, the judge will encourage you try and agree on the issues with your ex-partner at each stage, as this is always the preferable solution.

If you do end up going to court you may well find you cannot afford a solicitor or can only afford to ask the solicitor to help with certain bits of the process. It is sensible to think carefully about what you ask the solicitor to help with. The more you can agree with your ex, the more money you are likely to save on fees. Be aware though that not all solicitors are willing to help with just certain bits of the process. 

If you really cannot reach an agreement with your ex on where and who the children will live with then look at our guide to applying to court about where the children will live and when they will see their other parent.

If you are struggling to agree what to do with the house and other things of value, known as ‘assets’ by lawyers, take a look at our guide to applying for a financial order when you divorce.

Both these guides explain when it really would be helpful to get advice from a solicitor and when you might be able to manage things yourself.

If you are using a solicitor

Cut your costs by:

• Reading our guides that you can find on Advicenow.
• Shopping around to compare prices. If you are looking at fixed price packages, check what they include and if they are suitable for your circumstances. Check whether prices quoted include VAT.
• Being organised – ensure you don’t waste time by having all the information your solicitor needs to hand (information about your finances).
• Preparing for conversations - have a list of everything you need to discuss and avoid going off the point.
• Avoiding sending letters, emails or telephoning your solicitor unnecessarily. If you are not on a fixed price package, solicitors will charge for receiving all calls, letters and emails from you as well as the calls, emails and letters they make and send.
• Using your solicitor sparingly by agreeing what tasks you can do and what your solicitor is going to do.
• Agreeing what tasks you can do and what your solicitor is going to do. For example, people usually divide up the contents of the home without involving solicitors.
• Making sure you are clear if there are any expenses you’ll have to pay on top of solicitors' fees and court fees (for example, for any expert reports or for a barrister’s fee for representing you in contested court hearings).
   

There’s quite a lot of  legal paperwork involved in getting a divorce (see the section called The process for getting a divorce to see who does what and when). The change in the law in 2022 has made it simpler though, and if you are happy to use the online digital service it should be smoother and quicker than doing a paper-based application. The online service is aimed at people dealing with their divorce themselves. It takes you through a series of questions you need to answer and you automatically get email reminders when you need to take the next step in the process.

You have some options about what kind of help you use. We talk about these options next.

Option 1 – use a family law solicitor

This is probably the easiest route but of course many people will struggle to afford one or would prefer to save their money. If you feel able to use the online divorce service you may want to save your money to pay for a solicitor to help with sorting out finances which can be trickier to deal with.

Some people on a low income who have been in an abusive relationship with the the partner they are divorcing may be able to get help to pay for legal advice. Check if you are likely to be able to get it by using the legal aid checker.

Some solicitors have changed how they work and now offer to help you with the divorce paperwork for a fixed fee rather than charging you by the hour (this is often only available for less complex cases). This makes it easier to work out how much it will cost in total. If you are the person asking for the divorce, you have to do the bulk of the paperwork and so should expect any fixed fee you have to pay to be higher than a fixed fee service for the person who is being divorced.

Beware of non-solicitor divorce websites

There are websites that offer cheap help with your divorce because a ‘case manager’ helps you, rather than a solicitor. They may have no qualifications, no experience, and, importantly, no insurance. They often cannot give you legal advice (so they cannot help you avoid mistakes that could have serious long-term consequences) and you also cannot complain about them to the Solicitors Regulation Authority or the Legal Ombudsman. So if it all goes wrong or they act dishonestly it is hard to do anything about it.

They are usually easy to spot because the website will talk about ‘your case manager’ or something similar rather than ‘your solicitor’, and won’t say that they are regulated by the SRA (Solicitors Regulation Authority). Other services suggest that they are free or very cheap, but only provide very basic information for free and then charge for anything more helpful – make sure you are clear what is included in any service and what you will have to pay extra for.

McKenzie friends

You may also come across McKenzie friends online. McKenzie friends can offer practical help and support with legal problems but usually they are not legally trained. So, they cannot give legal advice on your case. They are allowed to charge for their services and can attend court but not speak on your behalf. They are not regulated by the Solicitors Regulation Authority and are not required to have insurance. So, if it all goes wrong or they act dishonestly it is hard to do anything about it.

Option 2 – do it yourself

If you are doing it yourself, use our guide on how to get an amicable divorce or end a civil partnership without a lawyer.

Court fees

Remember that even if you do everything yourself, one expense most people cannot avoid is the court fees. For more help on what these are and to see if you might be able to get a reduction or if you are exempt from paying a fee, take a look at Help with court fees in a family case.

Whether you are using a solicitor or doing it yourself, it’s useful to understand the process so that you can see how you are progressing through it.

In this case, Mo and Pat have decided to get a divorce. They have agreed that Mo will apply for the divorce and Pat will be what is known as the ‘respondent’. They could apply together, but as Pat is not really ready for a divorce, he doesn’t want to. This is how the process works, step by step.

Start

1. Mo applies online or sends the application to the court, and pays a court fee. If Mo has a solicitor, the solicitor must use the online system.
2. The Court checks the application, puts it on the court system and gives the case a number (this is called ‘issuing’), and sends the papers to Pat by email with a letter in the post to confirm this.
3. Pat completes the answers to the questions on the acknowledgement of service form and sends it back to the court, or fills it in online, within 14 days. This confirms that Pat has received the divorce application. Pats also receives a document called a ‘notice of proceedings’ which confirms that Mo has started divorce proceedings in the family court.
4. The Court sends Mo a copy, or if they are using the online system, Mo gets a notification that Pat has responded to the application.
5. After a mandatory 20-week ‘cooling off’ period from the date the court issues the divorce application, Mo can apply for the conditional order, online via the digital system or by using Form D84 - the application for a conditional order.
6. The District Judge reads the file on the court system. If it is all in order, the court fixes a date for the conditional order to be made.
7. Mo and Pat get notifications of this date through the digital system or by email/post. This is a short hearing. It is a formality only and neither of them need to go unless one of them is trying to defend the divorce. 
8. The conditional order is issued. A copy is sent to both Mo and Pat by email or if they are using the digital system, they get an email to tell them to log on to see the order.
9. If there are finances to sort out it is important to get legal advice before applying for the final divorce order - for more help, use our guide to agreeing how to divide your home and money when you get divorced.
10. Six weeks after the conditional order is issued, Mo can apply for the final divorce order by sending a form, called the D36 form, to the Court or by applying via the digital system. If Mo does not apply for it within 3 months, Pat can apply.
11. The Court checks the file and issues the final order, sending a copy to both Mo and Pat by email or emailing them both to tell them to see the order via the digital system.
12. They are finally divorced.

Finish

Divorce and separation, like bereavement, take a long time to get over. You need to get used to no longer being part of a couple and your future looking different. It won’t come right overnight.

People often expect you to bounce back once you’ve got your divorce sorted but feelings don’t fit tidily into legal processes. For most people it takes about one to two years before they start feeling okay again. Bit by bit it should start getting better. Children will also need time to adjust.

There are lots of places where you can get some help to recover from the effects of divorce and separation. You can’t always do it on your own. Next we list some of the places you might turn for help.

• Your friends or wider family.
• Your GP. They may be able to offer you counselling or put you in touch with local self-help groups.
• Local counselling services, online or ask for recommendations.
• If you are religious, you may find very helpful groups connected to your faith community.
• If you have small children, your health visitor should be able to put you in touch with local services that may help you.
• Local supportive groups. These might be for lone parents, or divorced or separated adults. Gingerbread has local groups all over the country for lone parents.
• Online forums and websites such as The Divorce Magazine and Only mums and dads, if you are a parent.

Things you can do to help your children

• Explain to the children that this is between the adults. It is not their fault and they don’t have the power to change what is happening. Explain that you know that this is hard for them and you are sorry. (Depending on the age and understanding of your children you may need to say this again and again).
• Remind them that you both still love them and you will always be their family.
• It’s easier said than done, but try not to blame the other parent or talk about them in an unhelpful way in front of your children. Find other ways to blow off steam.
• Try to keep to normal routines as much the same as possible. It’s tempting to try to make it up to the children with extra treats, but in the long run, this isn’t going to help much. Extra cuddles might though.
• Let the children’s schools and anyone else who looks after them know - they are likely to need a bit of extra care and attention from everybody for a bit.

Relationship help and support 

Relate has lots of information on a range of problems that can arise in relationships and families.

Paying for legal advice

Legal aid is only available to apply for a divorce in very limited circumstances. More and more lawyers are offering a wider range of products and services than in the past. These include:

• Free or low-cost initial telephone consultation. Many solicitors offer an initial free advice session or a session for a reduced price to give you a starting point.
• Pay as you go advice – where you pay for the advice you receive at the time you get it. This can be helpful if you don’t mind doing some of the paperwork and admin involved yourself.
• Fixed fees – where you agree in advance what you service you will receive and how much you will pay for.
• Online services that let you buy, for example, a basic divorce where someone will complete the application for you and send it to the court. Think about whether you need to spend money on this – if you feel confident using this guide and using the court’s online service aimed at people with no solicitor, you could save your money to get advice from a solicitor about the financial agreement.

It is okay to shop around and compare prices. Look carefully at what is and is not included to make sure you get the right service for you.

How to find legal advice

For help finding a family lawyer a good place to start is Resolution where you can find lawyers by searching using your postcode. Resolution members must commit to helping you work out your legal problem in a non-confrontational way. A green tick next to the lawyer’s name tells you that they offer legal aid.

You can also search for a specialist lawyer near you who has been accredited by the Law Society. This means they have a significant amount of experience and expertise and have passed a Law Society assessment - go to Law Society Find a solicitor page.

You can also find a legal aid family lawyer via GOV.UK.

The Royal Courts of Justice Advice Bureau may be able to help you if you:

• live in England or Wales
• have a case in the Family Court, and
• are not already represented by a solicitor or barrister.

To book an appointment please check their website for latest appointment details.

Rights of Women offers free, confidential legal advice for women in England and Wales on family law matters (for example, about domestic violence and abuse, divorce, cohabitation, finances and property on relationship breakdown, parental responsibility and arrangements for children and lesbian parenting).

For women in England and Wales, call: 020 7251 6577. Line open Tuesday to Thursday, 7pm to 9pm, Fridays 12pm to 2pm (closed on public holidays).

For women in London, call: 020 7608 1137. Line open: Mondays 10am - 12pm and 2pm to 4pm, Tuesdays 2pm - 4pm, Wednesdays 2pm - 4pm, Thursdays 10am - 12pm and 2pm to 4pm (closed on public holidays).

How to find a family mediator

A good way to find a mediator is to use the search tool provided by the Family Mediation Council to find one near you. All Family Mediation Council registered mediators must follow a code of practice to maintain good standards in their work.  

It is fine to phone around, ask how much they charge and compare prices. For more useful information on mediation as a process have a look at our guide to family mediation.

Domestic violence and abuse

If your ex has been or is being abusive to you there are lots of places you can find out more information and get support. Always dial 999 in an emergency. If you cannot speak when you call you may be asked to cough or tap on the phone or enter the numbers 55. The operator will then know you are there and in danger and transfer you to the police.

For support or to discuss your options you can call the 24 hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 or in Wales, Live Fear Free on 0808 80 10 800 (24 hours).

Both help lines are for anyone who is experiencing, or has experienced domestic abuse, or for anyone who is worried about domestic abuse happening to a friend, family member or colleague. The helplines are free, confidential and the number will not show up on a BT telephone bill.

If you are a man and you or your children are affected by domestic violence or abuse you can contact the Men’s Advice Line on 0808 801 0327.

Mankind Initiative also supports men who are affected by domestic abuse. They have a free confidential helpline - 0808 800 1170 open Monday – Friday 10am to 4pm (excluding bank holidays).

Galop runs a national helpline for lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans people experiencing domestic abuse. You can contact them on 0800 999 5428.

The National Centre for Domestic Violence provides a free, emergency injunction service to survivors of domestic violence regardless of their financial circumstances, race, gender or sexual orientation. You can contact them on 0800 970 2070. Alternatively, you can text: NCDV to 60777 and they will call you back.

You can find more information and support from:

• Refuge
• Women’s Aid
• Welsh Women’s Aid
• Surviving Economic Abuse

Respect phoneline - if you are worried about your own behaviour towards your current or ex-partner, or are you concerned for someone you know who is being abusive, help is available to stop this at Respect Phoneline with free non-judgmental advice and access to behaviour change programmes. Call 0808 8024040, Monday – Friday 10am-5pm.

Debt advice

National Debtline can offer you free advice over the phone. They also offer webchat and an email service.

Helpline: 0808 808 4000 – open Monday – Friday 9am-8pm, and Saturday 9.30am-1pm

StepChange offer free debt help and advice. They ask you to use their online debt advice tool before you call so they have details about your financial situation from the start to be able to help you properly. Helpline: 0800 138 1111 - open Monday – Friday 8am-8pm, and Saturday 9am-2pm.

Help and support for single parents

Gingerbread offers information and support for single parents with an online forum and local groups across the country. 

Family Lives is a national charity providing help and support in all aspects of family life. Their helpline can give information, advice, guidance and support on any aspect of parenting and family life. Family Helpline: 0808 800 2222 Monday to Friday 9am-9pm, Saturday and Sunday 10am - 3pm. If you prefer, they also have live chat and email options. 

OnlyMums and Dads run a Family Separation Support Hub with articles, details of parenting courses and access to a directory of a range of professionals who can help with separation issues.

Acknowledgement of Service form (Form D10) - this is the form the person who does not start the divorce/ dissolution proceedings uses to confirm that they have received the petition and to tell their ex-partner whether they’re going to object to it or not. If you reply to the divorce application online, there is no form as such - just questions to answer about the divorce application.  

Applicant – the name given to the person who starts proceedings to end a marriage or civil partnership.

Applicant 1 / Applicant 2 - if you decide to apply for your divorce or dissolution together you are called applicant 1 and applicant 2. One person must lead in filling out the application. They are then known as applicant 1 and the other person is known as applicant 2.

Application for a divorce, dissolution or (judicial) separation (Form D8) - the form you use to apply for a divorce or dissolution of a civil partnership if you are doing a paper application. If you apply online you just answer various questions and the answers make up your application to the court.

Application for a conditional order (Form D84) - this is the form the person who is asking for the divorce/dissolution uses to ask for a conditional order. If you apply online you just answer various questions and the answers make up your application to the court.

Conditional order - is a court order confirming that you are entitled to a divorce the dissolution of your civil partnership. It is the first of the two orders you need before your marriage or civil partnership is at an end. A conditional order is not the final order in the process and does not end a marriage or civil partnership.

Dissolution – the legal ending of a civil partnership.

Divorce – the legal ending of a marriage.

Filing – this just means giving a legal form or document to the court.

Final divorce order – a court order that proves your marriage or civil partnership is legally ended and you are free to re-marry or register a new civil partnership.

Judicial separation – the process that confirms you are separated and no longer have to live together. It doesn’t legally end a marriage or civil partnership like divorce or dissolution.

Notice of application for conditional order to be made final (Form D36) - this is the form the person who asked for the divorce uses to ask the court to make a conditional order, final. If you apply online there is no form as such.

Notice of satisfaction with the arrangements for the children – a document telling you that the judge is happy with the arrangements you have made for the children’s future.

Proceedings – another name for court action. If you ‘bring proceedings’ you have started a court case to sort out a dispute.

Respondent - the name given to the person who does not start the divorce or dissolution proceedings or the proceedings relating to financial or children arrangements. Instead, they are the one who needs to ‘respond’ to the other person’s application.

Serve – delivery of court documents to the person who has to respond to a court application. Delivery is usually by hand or post, or if the rules allow it, by email.

This form is to help you work out what you spend at the moment and to plan your finances for the future.

To get a monthly figure from weekly figures, multiply by 4.33. 

Disclaimer

The law is complicated. We have simplified things in the guide to give you an idea of how the law applies to you. Please don't rely on this guide as a complete statement of the law. We recommend you get further help and advice from the sources we have suggested.

The quotes and cases we refer to are not always real but show a typical situation. We hope they help you think about how to deal with your own situation.

Acknowledgements

Advicenow would like to thank all those who have provided feedback, in particular, Beth Critchley of Rayden Solicitors and Sarah Stace of Beck Fitzgerald for peer reviewing this guide University for peer reviewing this updated version.

This guide was written by Advicenow and updated thanks to funding from the Ministry of Justice via the Online Support and Advice Grant (OSAG).