Readers' questions - Money
We answer readers' questions about money related issues. For more information about what happens to your money if you break-up or one of you dies, go to our sections on Breaking Up and Wills and Inheritance.
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Dear Mary,
Would I be responsible for my partner's child maintenance if for some reason he was unable to pay CSA. And would I be responsible for any debts he has incurred in previous relationships?
You do not have any responsibility to pay child support for children who are not your own. Nor are you responsible for anybody else's debts - ever. Married couples aren't responsible for each others debts, and neither are unmarried couples - or indeed anyone else. That's not to say that your partner's debts won't affect your credit rating. When calculating your credit rating companies often take into account the credit rating of other people at your address. You can ask them to stop this and remove other people from your file, even if they are your partner. But if there is a clear financial connection between you (i.e. if you have a joint account together or a credit card in both your names) they may refuse.
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Dear Mary,
My boyfriend is moving in with me at the end of this month and renting out his flat. We understand that he'll need to pay tax on the income that he gets from his flat, but what about the money he gives me - will I need to pay tax on that? He'll be paying me half my mortgage and half of the cost of utilities bills/Council Tax.
I think it depends on how you will be living together. If you are sharing the home as a couple, then he is simply sharing the bills that you jointly incur. If it isn't 'income' you don't have to pay income tax. Once he's moved in, it will be your boyfriend's responsibility to pay the household bills and the council tax, just as much as it is yours - so he won't be paying this to you, he'll be paying the council, the electricity company, etc. The fact that the bills are only in one name does not change this, nor is it a problem if you want to keep the home in your name only.
If, on the other hand, your boyfriend will be a lodger, then what he pays to you would be income. However, you could use the rent-a-room scheme which allows you to have up to £4,250 a year rental income from a lodger tax-free. If you did not use the scheme, what your boyfriend pays would be income from which you could deduct expenses arising from the letting, such as heat and light, after which there might not be much or any profit left to tax. If you are going to do this however, your mortgage agreement will almost certainly require you to get the lender's permission before taking in a lodger and the lender might, say, increase the interest rate charged as a result. Your buildings insurance would also need to be amended to take account of any letting. Consequently, this would not seem to be your best option.
If you want to go with the first option, I suggest you make a living together agreement when he moves in. This will clarify exactly what his position is, what you'll each contribute towards the household expenses, and how that contribution will be treated. It is always a good idea as it stops problems cropping up in the future and you can do it in an evening. See our step-by-step guide to making a 
Living Together Agreement (292 KB).
Also, remember that you will no longer be entitled to the single-person occupancy discount on your council tax - let the council know when he moves in.
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Dear Mary,
I left my home 9 months ago to live with a new partner in their freehold house. We agreed that I should pay rent to avoid the possibility of including my partners assets as part of the settlement with my ex spouse. Since moving in, my partner has lost his job and I am having to support him with household costs. My ex spouse is trying to have my partners assets included in the settlement. My argument is that I am a tenant who is cohabiting with the landlord and I am stating that I will stop cohabiting as soon as I receive settlement. I am really confused that my partner’s finances should be included in the settlement. Do I have to have my partner's finances disclosed and included?
From what I can see you may have to. This is because it will affect your accommodation and other costs in the future. That is, unless you really are about to move out. I think you should get some specialist legal advice. If you don’t already have a solicitor, follow the link on the right to Resolution to search for a family law specialist in your area.
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Dear Mary,
What happens to my pension when I die? Does my partner have it?
It's not quite that simple. There are two things to look at here - most schemes provide some sort of lump sum pay out if you die before you retire, many will also pay a pension for your dependents. Whether your partner would receive anything from your pension after you die depends on the terms of your pension scheme.
Nearly two-thirds of pension schemes covering public sector workers (such as teachers, nurses, and local authority employees) will pay a lump sum to an unmarried partner, but not a pension. Most private sector schemes will pay pensions to an unmarried partner, if they qualify under the terms of the scheme.
Most occupational and personal pension schemes are set up so that the scheme decides who should get any lump sum and dependants’ pensions if you die. If you have filled in the form nominating your partner to receive the death benefits, then they will usually be paid a lump sum (and maybe a dependents pension) when you die. If you haven't nominated your partner, the lump sum will usually be paid to your estate - where it might be taxed and will be held up until probate is granted - before it goes to the person you have left it to in your will (if you have no will, it will be your nearest blood relative, not your partner). For more details, see our Wills guide (534 KB).
You need to ensure you have nominated your partner for any lump-sum payment, and see if he/she will be entitled to a dependents pension. Check with your pension scheme.
If your partner is relying on your pension to provide for you both in your golden years, it would be sensible to build up some of the family’s savings in your partner's name.
See our Pensions guide (527 KB) for more details.
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Dear Mary,
My partner and I recently split. We were not married or anything. Last year I took out a loan which she was supposed to sign for too - but she could not make it. The loan was debt consolidation for £11,000 not including interest. Her part of the loan was over £4,500. But she is refusing to give me the money.
I have proof of where all the debt came from. Can I get my money from her?
Unfortunately the legal position is that if the debt is in your name, you and you alone are legally responsible for paying it off. Putting the whole debt in your name because she was busy was an extremely bad idea - but that knowledge doesn't help you now.
Do you have any evidence that it was supposed to be in both names? Do you have any proof of the agreement that she would pay off £4,500. You could take the matter to court, but this is likely to be a very drawn out and expensive business, and there is no guarantee that you would win (although the more evidence you have, the better your chances are).
You could consider using the small claims procedure. It is at least fairly cheap and may be worth it. The trouble is that, even if the court agrees with you, you may still have trouble getting her to pay up. Generally people's best bet with small claims is to hope that the court papers alone make people pay up. This is very useful with dodgy bosses or landlords who have nicked your deposit; I'm not sure how it would work with your ex-girlfriend.
Your best bet is to try to negotiate with her. If she's dead set against paying you, I'm not sure if there is much you can do.
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Dear Mary,
I currently receive both spousal and child maintenance from my ex husband. I am now cohabiting with a new partner who does not contribute to the household financially. Would I still loose my spousal maintenance after a period of 6 months even though I receive no money from my new partner?
You won’t lose your maintenance because you’re living with someone (no matter how long you’ve been together) – unless there was a specific agreement in the court order. Your ex could apply to the court and argue that he should now stop having to pay maintenance, but he would have to show that you are being supported by your new partner – and you are not. So you can stop worrying.
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Dear Mary,
I recently split up with my girlfriend. It was all amicable at the start and we agreed on a financial settlement whereby she would pay me back money because I was contributing more into the joint account than her each month. However, since then she has decided not to pay me anything back.
Am I entitled to that money because she has shown some consideration and willingness to repay or is it a lost cause?
Sorry to say this but its probably best to give it up as a lost cause. I'm guessing the agreement you made wasn't written down and signed by both of you? You could take the matter to court, but this is likely to be a very drawn out and expensive business, and there is no guarantee that you would win. Particularly if there is no proof of the agreement.
You should only consider going to court as a last resort really. And if the amount of money we are talking about is fairly small, it's likely that going to court will take more money and hassle than it is worth.
Check out our Breaking Up checklist (482 KB) for more information, and reminders of the things you should do if you split up. And if you find yourself moving in with a girlfriend again, remember to make a Living Together Agreement which may have helped you avoid this, and other problems. For more information see our Living Together Agreements leaflet (292 KB).
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Dear Mary,
My partner of 5 years wants us to get married; however I am happy to continue just living together as we have both been married before. I own a property and he owns 2 abroad, we jointly own another property abroad. My question is am I entitled to any money if we split or if he dies? His will currently leaves everything to his 3 children, is this automatically changed to me as his next of kin if we marry? (Basically will I be in a better financial position if I say YES?) Thanks for your help.
As it stands, no - you are not entitled to any money if you split up or if he dies if you are not married, but equally he is not entitled to any money from you if you split up. Whether he is entitled to any money if you die will depend on what it says in your will (if you haven't made one everything will go to a blood relative, not your partner).
If you married, you would be in a different situation if you later split up, as a divorce court would seek to divide your joint assets in half. Depending on what you each own now - this may mean marrying would make you better off, or it may mean you would be worse off.
Marrying would also change your position if he died, but probably only temporarily. When you marry any will you already have is made void, so you would both have to make new ones. If he made a new will, his estate would be distributed according to his wishes (i.e. he could still leave his estate to his children). If he didn't make a new one, then, as his wife, you would receive the first £125,000 of his estate, plus a life interest in half the rest. See our Wills (534 KB) and Breaking Up (482 KB) guides for more information.
To properly assess whether you would be better off married, you also need to take your pensions and any possible inheritance tax or capital gains tax into account.
If either of you died, would the other receive their pension? You'll need to check with your pension schemes. If you wouldn't, check if you would if you married. This is only likely to be a problem if one of you works/worked in the public sector. For more information, see our Pensions guide (527 KB).
Unlike married couples or civil partners, cohabiting couples potentially have to pay inheritance tax on anything that they inherit from each other if the whole estate is worth over a certain amount (currently £300,000). If you are not leaving your estates to each other, this won't make any differnce to you - but if you are planning on changing your wills this is something you need to consider. See our Inheritance Tax guide (337 KB) for more information.
Some couples might be better off married because of the state pension and bereavement allowance rules. Whether or not this applies to you depends on how good your state pensions are, and when you will retire, whether you’re on means-tested benefits, and something none of us can know – how old you and your partner will be when one of you dies. For more details see our guide to Benefits and LivingTogether Leaflet (283 KB).
On the other hand, being unmarried might save you money if you have several properties where Capital Gains Tax is concerned, as you could each have a home that counts as your principle residence.
As you can see it's not an easy question to answer. If you want to work it out properly, you should see a solicitor - take all your financial details with you.
If you don't really want to get married, it would be best for you to sit down together and work out what you want to happen in the event of one of you dying or you splitting up - it may be possible to achieve exactly the same result without getting married (by changing your wills, and making a living together agreement etc).
