"I'm his common-law wife" - Rachel's mistake

By giving up my council flat to live with John, my son and I became completely dependent on him. It was OK, I thought, because I would be have rights if anything went wrong. When we did split, I realised there’s no such thing as a common law wife, and I didn’t have any rights. My son and I ended up on the streets!

Moving in with John wasn’t the hardest decision I’ve ever made but still, the fiercely independent part of me needed some convincing. I did some research and believed I’d covered all the scenarios. Except the worst case one it seems.

After John and I had been seeing each other for a year I moved in with him. I’m a single parent and since Josh’s birth two years before, I’d provided adequately for us with my small savings and benefits.
John was self-employed and owned his own house. It wasn’t enormous but the garden was the real draw, a huge stretch of land with mature trees, a tree- house and a rope swing. Josh loved it. I liked the area too, there was no motorway noise and the shopping parade, 2 minutes from his house, had everything we needed. So I gave up my council flat, and my independence, and moved in with him.

I never doubted John’s commitment to us. He had always been wonderful with Josh, supported me emotionally as well as financially and we were very close. Just because he didn’t want the expense of a wedding and the pomp of a marriage ceremony didn’t seem reason enough to walk away. He said his commitment was 100% and I believed him.

When I moved in with him, as his “common law wife”, I knew I would no longer get my Income Support because John was earning good money.

When Josh was 4, John’s mother died and the grief overwhelmed him. When he wasn’t locked in his study, he was shut away in his shed. Josh hated being left alone with him, saying he was scary. He lost all interest in me, we rowed often and once he yelled “get yourself and your kid out of my life”, we left.

I really had believed that I’d have some rights as I’d been his “common-law wife” for two years. Then I discovered there’s no such thing.

I had no protection, no right to maintenance or child support from John, no right to occupy the house, and no share of its value. Worse still, the council said I had made myself and Josh “intentionally homeless” by leaving the council flat, so they wouldn’t rehouse us.

I’m getting advice about this now, but I’ve been left in a worse position than ever before. Meanwhile John can legally keep our house and everything in it for himself.