Emotional support
Relate have lots of information on their website about a range of problems that can arise in relationships and families.
Restored Lives is a charity supporting couples and parents going through separation and divorce. They have free online resources and run courses in the community and online. These are not free, but you can ask for support with the fee if you are on a low income or a student.
How to find a family mediator
Anyone can call themselves a family mediator, so it is important to choose someone you can be sure is well trained and experienced.
A good way to find a registered mediator is to use the search tool provided by the Family Mediation Council to find one near you. All Family Mediation Council registered mediators must follow a code of practice to maintain good standards in their work. If you are interested, you can find the code of practice on the Family Mediation Council website.
If you follow up on a recommendation from family or friends, be sure to just check the name on the Family Mediation Council website so you know that the person is registered and either working towards being an accredited mediator or is accredited. This will give you reassurance that the mediator you choose is trained and experienced.
All the mediators included on the Family Medication Council website have been trained by providers approved by the Family Mediation Council and most are also accredited, which means that they are experienced mediators. Not all mediators do Legal Aid funded mediation, but those who do must be accredited – you can search for them by ticking the middle box on the search tool.
For more useful information on mediation as a process have a look at Family mediation.
How to find a legal adviser
For help finding a family lawyer a good place to start is Resolution where you can find lawyers by searching using your postcode. Resolution members must commit to helping you work out your legal problem in a non-confrontational way. A green tick next to the lawyer’s name tells you that they offer legal aid. You can find an accredited lawyer who is a specialist in finances on divorce by going to the ‘Find a law professional’ page. Then, click on ‘advanced search’.
You can also search for a specialist lawyer near you who has been accredited by the Law Society. This means they have a significant amount of experience and expertise and have passed a Law Society assessment. On the Law Society Find a solicitor page you can click on ‘More search options’ on the right at the bottom of the box. This gives more options to choose from. Here you can tick the accreditation box for ‘Family’ or ‘Family - advanced’, or both.
You can also find a family lawyer who offers legal aid via the GOV.UK website.
Another way to get legal advice is to speak to a barrister who is qualified to represent members of the public directly (without a solicitor being involved). There are limits on what a barrister can do outside of representation at court but it is often a cheaper option if you just want to get some advice rather than have a solicitor to negotiate on your behalf. The details of appropriately qualified barristers and an explanation of the way the system works can be found by going to Direct Access Portal. Don’t be afraid to phone around to compare prices or see if you can find someone who will give you the first appointment for free.
The Royal Courts of Justice Advice Bureau (RCJ Advice) may be able to help you if you:
- live in England or Wales,
- have a case in the Family Court, and
- are not already represented by a solicitor or barrister.
To book an appointment, please check their website for latest appointment details.
Rights of Women offers free, confidential legal advice for women in England and Wales on family law matters (for example, about domestic violence and abuse, divorce, cohabitation, finances and property on relationship breakdown, parental responsibility and arrangements for children and lesbian parenting).
- For women in England and Wales, call 020 7251 6577. Line open Tuesday to Thursday, 7pm to 9pm, Fridays 12pm to 2pm (closed on public holidays).
- For women in London, call 020 7608 1137. Line open: Mondays 10am - 12pm and 2pm to 4pm, Tuesdays 2pm - 4pm, Wednesdays 2pm - 4pm, Thursdays 10am - 12pm and 2pm to 4pm (closed on public holidays).
Paying for legal advice
Legal aid is only available to apply for a financial order in very limited circumstances. More and more lawyers are offering a wider range of products and services than in the past. These include:
- Free or low cost initial telephone consultations.
- Pay as you go advice – where you pay for the advice you receive at the time you get it. This can be helpful if you don’t mind doing some of the paperwork and admin involved yourself.
- Fixed fees – where you agree in advance what you are buying and what you are paying for it. This usually applies to longer pieces of work, for example, to negotiate a financial agreement.
It is okay to shop around and compare prices. Look carefully at what is and is not included to make sure you buy the right service for you.
Help at court or in hearings by video or phone call
Support Through Court supports people going through the court process without a lawyer. Volunteers offer a free and confidential service at some court buildings. You can look at their website to see if they have an office at your local court. The volunteers aim to help you manage your own case yourself. They cannot give legal advice or act on your behalf, but can offer practical help such as going to your hearing with you and supporting you with your forms. They can also help you if your hearing is by video or phone, by talking you through the process and sometimes joining the hearing too. They run a free national helpline 03000 810 006, open Monday to Friday 9.30am - 4.30pm. This is a good place to start for information on what they can do to help you.
Help and support for separating and single parents
Gingerbread provides practical support and other help for single parents.
Coram Family Lives is a national charity providing help and support in all aspects of family life. Their helpline can give information, advice, guidance and support on any aspect of parenting and family life. Family helpline: 0808 800 2222 Monday to Friday 9am-9pm, Saturday and Sunday 10am - 3pm.
OnlyMums and Dads run a Family Separation Support Hub with information, articles, details of parenting courses and access to a directory of a range of professionals who can help with separation issues.
MATCH - mothers apart from their children is a charity that offers non-judgmental support and information to mothers apart from their children in a wide variety of circumstances. E-mail: [email protected]. Helpline: 0800 689 4104 9.30am- 1pm and 7pm-9.30pm, Monday - Friday.
Domestic violence and abuse
Always dial 999 in an emergency. If you cannot speak when you call you may be asked to cough or tap on the phone or enter the numbers 55. The operator will then know you are there and in danger and transfer you to the police.
For support or to discuss your options you can call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 or in Wales, Live Fear Free on 0808 80 10 800.
Both help lines are for anyone who is experiencing, or has experienced domestic abuse, or for anyone who is worried about domestic abuse happening to a friend, family member or colleague. It is free, confidential and the number will not show up on a BT telephone bill.
If you are a man affected by domestic abuse, or you are worried about someone you know who is suffering abuse, you can contact Men’s advice line who offer confidential advice, support and information - 0808 8010327 Mon–Fri 10am-5pm.
The National Centre for Domestic Violence provides a free, emergency injunction service to survivors of domestic abuse regardless of their financial circumstances, race, gender or sexual orientation. You can contact them on 0800 970 2070. Alternatively, you can text 'NCDV' to 60777 and they will call you back.
Galop runs a national helpline for lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans people experiencing domestic abuse. You can contact them on 0800 999 5428.
You can find more information and support from:
If you are worried about your own behaviour towards your current or ex-partner, or are you concerned for someone you know who is being abusive, help is available to stop this at Respect Phoneline with non-judgmental advice and access to behaviour change programmes. Call 0808 8024040, Monday - Friday 10am-5pm.